Ruminating

Breaking Free from 'Just Average'

Lately, I’ve been feeling a restlessness that’s hard to explain, a fog of doubt clouding my thoughts. As I sit with it, I recognize an old, familiar ache—one rooted in my history of feeling “not enough.” Despite years of pushing myself through school and work, there’s this nagging sense of inadequacy that won’t quite leave me alone. Today, I’m unpacking it, reflecting on where it started and why it still lingers.

In writing this, I’m hoping to finally make sense of the “just average” story I’ve been carrying. Maybe, by exploring it, I can free myself from the need to measure up to others’ standards, finally finding peace with my own journey.

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Dear Loved One,

I don't entirely understand it, but I feel on edge today, listless, unsettled.

Maybe it's because I don’t have a lot to occupy my mind at work today, leaving room for my thoughts and emotions to churn. Maybe… probably. But I'm realizing that why I feel this way isn’t as pressing as what I’m feeling. What is it that has my leg bouncing at a super-sonic speed? What’s clouding my mind?